Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
