I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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