Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
