your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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