benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
