its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize