So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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