Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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