so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
