Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
