We won't sleep together?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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