I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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