i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
