Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
