using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
