Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
