i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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