I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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