matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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