:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
