i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
