I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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