Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
