I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
