So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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