drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
