okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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