You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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