What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
