READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
