Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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