So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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