It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
