i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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