hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
