fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
