Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
