i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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