sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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