drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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