Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
