arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
