I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
