i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I faked an abortion last night.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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