remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
