ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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