using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
