I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize