69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
