Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
