But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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