The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
