I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
