his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
