That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
