You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
