dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
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She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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