my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
