$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
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She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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