I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I skipped work to stalk him.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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