Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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