I look better un-naked...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
