Your dad touched me again.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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