I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize