Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
