Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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