i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
one two three fourrrrnication!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
