Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
